Signs

One of my favorite experiences is when you sense God calling you to do something ... and as you begin to take the baby steps of obedience toward that calling, He sends you little signs of confirmation that you are doing the right thing.

For example, when you sense that you need to spend more time reading and studying the Word, so you do... a few minutes here or there when you can find the time... and a particular scripture jumps off the page and into your heart. Then, you are at church or Bible Study or in a conversation or (gasp!) on Facebook- and low and behold there is the exact.same.scripture. that spoke to you only days before!

I have had this happen to me more times than I can count. And maybe I read into things too much or am too desperate for a signal of approval, but I've always been a believer that sending us a "sign" is just another way that God can speak. It's not coincidence or chance or the universe aligning.

So when you believe that God is prompting you to do something you feel so deeply inside of you and aren't actually "qualified" to do, but you say yes to Him anyway...
And you begin to take teeny, tiny baby steps in that direction...
And then He sends you "sign" upon "sign" upon "sign" that you are headed down the right path...
What do you do?
Allow the fear and discouraging voices in your head dictate your next move?
Or trust that the God who made you knows exactly how He wants to knit together your unique gifts and experiences?

I am praying for wisdom as I search for the next step to take. I'm riddled with fear and eaten up with insecurity and self-doubt, but I will do my best to be obedient to His calling.

I don't know what God has laid on your heart, but listen carefully to what He might be whispering to you. Don't ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It just might lead to your greatest calling and the awakening of your soul.

"This is what the Lord says:

Stand at the crossroads and look;

    ask for the ancient paths,

ask where the good way is, and walk in it,

    and you will find rest for your souls."

Jeremiah 6:16

Healing Words

I came across this blog post the other day by one of my favorite writers/authors, Shauna Niequist. Read it if you have time-- it's worth it, I promise.

It got me thinking about motherhood and "using our words". I began to recall the instances that someone has taken the time to say, "You are a good mom, April" or "I love how you ____"or "I'm so proud of the parent you've become".

Last year I received a Facebook message from an adult from my childhood. Someone who I admired then and have the upmost respect for now. Her words were along these lines, "It is a joy to watch you parent...I'm praying for you... and cheering you on..."

As I read them, tears streamed down my face and I was shocked at how much I didn't even know that I needed to hear them. I inhaled them like clean, fresh, life-giving air to someone who was drowning. I had prayed earlier that day that the Lord would send some encouragement my way, as I was in a particularly challenging season of life. And as always, He was faithful to hear my cry.

So here's my point:

Maybe you are like me and motherhood, as glorious and wonderful as it is, has humbled you beyond anything you could have imagined. Maybe you are like me and motherhood has made you question your abilities and worth (and sanity!) more times than you would like to admit. Let's make a deal, ok? Let's use our words carefully, wisely, and intentionally. Let's encourage and build each other up. Let's not be afraid to give a meaningful, sincere, life-giving compliment to someone-- no strings attached.

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

Proverbs 16:24

Two

This boy. 

He is sweet, active, adventurous, helpful, strong, a snuggle bug, and the best little eater I know.

He is also mischievous, sneaky, loud, and a total, complete MESS. He can destroy an entire house in no time ... But (unlike his big brother) takes great pride in helping to clean it up too. 

He loves fruit (would eat it all day, every day if given the choice), balls, trucks (the louder the better), cars, tractors, dirt, and stealing his brother's toys.

He's still a mama's boy at heart and I love him oh so much.

Party of Five

In the eight months since I last blogged, we became a family of five! Our precious Alexandra Jane arrived on May 22 (her due date) and she is absolutely perfect. We call her our little lady or just "lady" because she is exactly that.. Poised, delicate, and by far the best baby I've had! People constantly comment on how alert she is, her long "lady fingers", and her big, beautiful bows. Her eyes are piercing and give off the sense that, although is she is only 2 months old, she knows exactly what you are saying.

When we named her Alexandra we weren't sure if we'd called her Alexandra or Allie or Allie Jane. So far it seems that she is totally an Alexandra. Something about that name is just sophisticated, regal (I mean it WAS the #1 prediction for the royal baby had he been a girl!), and oh so lovely. 

She is a total mommy's girl, although she gives daddy big smiles every morning and has an especially close bond with Carter. Cooper's interest in his sister is increasing, but I think most of his lovingness toward her is just mimicking Carter's behavior. Better than nothing though, right? She also love, love, loves her Auntie Ash- another true lady at heart.

We are so thankful for our unexpected gift from God, Alexandra Jane!

Photo by Amelia Hambrook Photography

November Update

My poor, neglected blog. I have so many things I'd like to write about, but life has gotten in the way over the past few months (more on that another time). I don't, however, want to forget these precious, but oh-so-crazy and tiresome days with my two boys. Here's a little of what they each have been up to lately:

Carter, age 3/12

• Carter continues to be our curious, opinionated, observant firstborn. He talks non-stop. And I do mean non-stop... even if no one is listening he'll say, "Oh, don't worry about it. I'm just talking to myself." Like mama like son :)
• As he's gotten older, he has gradually gotten more picky and selective about what foods he will eat. He pretty much could live off of chocolate milk if given the option. Healthy foods that continue to be his favorites include: Chicken (especially Chick fil A), mashed potatoes, peaches (as well as most other fruits), and cheese.
• This year (the 3's) has been much more challenging than last year (the 2's) ... and I really didn't think that was possible. Carter can be very strong willed and is constantly negotiating things so that he gets what he wants. I hear this on a regular (hourly) basis: "Ok, mommy.. here's the deal.. I'm going to do ____, then you can do ____. Is that a deal mommy? Ok mommy? Did you hear me?" Ah, yes.. this child has tested every ounce of patience I have left in my body. But I adore him. Oh so much.
• Several months ago I think I mentioned that Carter started reading. This has continued into a full-blown love of reading and I could not be more thrilled! Dr. Seuss books are currently his favorite, but he will read just about anything in front of him. He can read most of them without any assistance at all. I am absolutely astounded every time I hear him. 
• On that note, we are starting to prayerfully consider our educational options for this little boy. I am open to any and all suggestions and truly just want to find the right fit for him.
• His current obsession love is any and all Superheroes. We talk about Superheroes all day. We play with Superheroes all day. We pretend to be a Superhero all day. Spiderman is still his favorite.
• His imaginary friend, Walgreens is still a very active part of his life. He regularly invites Walgreens over to play- which involves me opening the front door, greeting Walgreens, giving him a hug, etc. The other day I even got to talk to Walgreens' mom on the phone so I could get directions to their house :)

  Cooper at 10 months

{now 14 months}

• My sweet Coopy Coop is such a happy boy. He has a very pleasant disposition and is generally very content.
• He continues to be extremely active and enjoys climbing on anything he can maneuver onto.. i.e. the stairs, couch, chairs, stools, etc. He also loves to push things around. This includes kitchen chairs, barstools, kids table/chairs, Carter's piano, etc. The boy is strong too!
• Cooper will eat just about anything in front of him. He is getting more independent and likes to feed himself most of the time. 
• He LOVES animals.. especially my parents' dog, Romeo.
• We've seen a bit of a temper rise in Cooper lately. He will scream and lay on the floor and throw his version of a "fit" over the silliest things. It's pretty funny, but also concerns me for the future (think terrible two's). He is also extremely jealous if I touch or hold Carter. 
• Coopy is still a mama's boy at heart, but really has a new found love for his daddy and Bella. 
• He doesn't show much, if any, interest in books but LOVES "things that go".. cars, trucks, trains... especially if they make noise!
• Finally, he is developing a love for Sesame Street- especially Elmo. This, of course, makes me very happy!

8 Months

Last month was a big one for our sweet boy! Here are a few highlights:

-His first two bottom teeth arrived :)

-He started saying "Dada" all the time!

-We have continued to try new foods, but his favorites are still carrots, sweet potatoes, and corn. He isn't really picky, but definitely shows a preference for certain foods. The ones he isn't crazy about (some fruits, green beans, etc) take much longer for him to eat.

-He is still on the move (but not on all fours yet) and into anything he can get his little hands on! The boy is super strong!

-He typically is ok staying with Jer or my mom (as long as I'm not in sight), but he would still prefer his mama 100% of the time. The only exception to this was on Easter Sunday when he sat with Uncle Taylor the ENTIRE service and even fell asleep (snoring!) for part of the time!

-His weight gain has slowed way down due to how active he is... I'm certainly not complaining ;)

I'm really enjoying every stage with Cooper and wishing time would slow down. It's true that it goes by SO much faster with the 2nd baby!

Alive

Yes, we are still alive and well over here.

I hope to be back soon with several new posts,

but in the mean time I'll leave you with this sweet picture of my baby boy.

Happy Spring and belated Easter!

Blessed

Blessed to have a husband

who takes his role as a father seriously.

Blessed that my days include hours of playtime.

Blessed that the Lord hears our prayers.

If I May...

... Please allow me to vent about a couple of current pet peeves.

For the record, I have a much more sophisticated post in the works about some wonderful books I just read, but right now I need to get a few things off my chest :)

1. When did it become socially acceptable to complain via Facebook all the time? And I do mean all the time. People, I am really really sorry that you have a headache for the 3rd time this week and your kid has been sick all winter, etc etc... but seriously... tone it down. Please.

2. If your last name is Smith (for example) please don't sign your cards "The Smith's". It should be "The Smiths"... no apostrophe. Am I correct, English teachers? I have seen this on WAY too many Christmas cards and it drives me nuts!

3. My second born child is NOT a girl. Nearly EVERY time I go out in public, people either assume that he is a girl baby or have to "guess" (as a lady in Nordstrom said yesterday) as to whether or not he is a boy. I seriously don't get it. I don't dress him like a girl (I don't even put him in smocked boy clothing) and he doesn't have a cross-gender name. My mom says he's a "pretty baby", which he is... but just in case you are ever confused... If you see a baby in a green stroller, dressed in all blue, wearing a hat that says "Cooper" written in blue, sucking on a baseball pacifier... it's a boy. All boy. I never had this experience with Carter, so it has really taken me by surprise.

Ok, that's all. Happy Thursday!

Welcome, 2012!

Whew.

Let me just start by saying that I LOVE the holidays. From Thanksgiving to New Year's is one of the most wonderful times of the year, but is anyone else absolutely exhausted when it's over? Most years I wait as long as possible to take down my Christmas decorations, but this year I was done with them immediately.

Done. done. done.

Before that, however, we had a wonderful time at the Christmas Eve service

And a nice little Christmas

Followed by a fun day trip to Chattanooga to celebrate with Jer's family

Then Carter came down with the stomach flu

(which I LOATHE every single second of)

Then Jeremy left for Philadelphia

Then I spent New Year's Eve alone on my couch

Then this happened on January 2...

I was frantically trying to get myself + 2 boys ready to pick Jeremy up from the airport. I was SO beyond ready for him to be home. I had spent the last several days nursing Carter back to health and obsessively trying to keep Cooper and I from catching that nasty illness. This also was his last trip with the Redskins until next season, which increased my anticipation even more. Anyways, somehow in the midst of me running around the house,

Carter locked himself in our master bedroom closet.

No biggie, right?

I figured I'd just unlock it the same way we've unlocked the other doors in the past.

Except this one was different.

It had a keyhole... to which I had no key.

Jeremy was in mid-flight somewhere over the East Coast.

I searched for the missing key, attempted to pick the lock with a bobby pin, safety pin, and every tool I could get my hands on.

Cooper was hungry and started screaming.

While nursing, I watched a video on You Tube about how to pick a lock.

No luck.

I called my mom.

No answer.

I called my sister and talked to my brother in law about how to pick a lock.

Fail. fail. fail.

Meanwhile, Carter is unusually calm and quiet.

So quiet that I think he might have gone to sleep.

I am not proud of how many curse words I said under my breath,

but let's be honest.. I was at my wits end...

And it takes A LOT to get me at my wits end :)

In a final act of desperation, I called a locksmith.

(And said a prayer that he wasn't a serial killer)

As it turns out, the lock was installed upside down (who does that?)

and he ended up having to drill it out of the door.

We were 2 hours late picking Jeremy up from the airport.

But we were alive and safe. Thank God!

Needless to say,

I was very ready for the fresh start that the beginning of 2012 brought.

My next post will include some of my resolutions for this year.

I, for one, am hoping for a few less of these days... :)

Food for Thought

I saw the following, "10 Thoughts on Whole Living", in my most recent issue of Whole Living Magazine. Every one of these points resonated with me, so I thought I'd share.. in hopes that they may impact you too.

1. Warm your soul: Savor a hot drink.

2. Be aware of the difference between anticipating and living.

JOY IS ROOTED IN THE PRESENT.

3. LET GO OF PERFECTION;

the most delicious moments are often the messiest.

4. Living better doesn't always mean trying harder. Ease up.

5. Avoid getting trapped in someone else's story.

Be the author of your own life.

6. Forgiveness isn't about them.

It's about you.

7. Make something, ANYTHING, from scratch.

8. You can remember good times

without losing yourself in nostalgia.

9. The best gifts let someone know how much you love,

not how much you spent.

10. Rest is not a luxury,

it's a necessity.

*Number 2 was my favorite. What about you?*

Life As We Know It

After taking care of both boys while my husband was out of town this weekend, I sent him a text last night that went something like this, "Please come home alive tomorrow. I really don't want to be a single mom." I seriously have a new level of respect for single moms. I have no earthly idea how they do it... and stay sane!

Here's a glimpse of my day today (and it's not even 3:00):

-Miraculously wake up before Carter and quickly decide to forgo a few extra minutes of sleep in order to drink my coffee/eat breakfast in the beautiful quiet of the morning.

-Feed both boys. Dress both boys. Shower and dress myself.

-Oh wait, only one boy got fed.

-Give Carter Cheerios to eat in the car.. on the way to the airport.

-Park, go in, and find daddy in the airport.

-Head to Chick fil A for lunch. Wait for Carter to eat all 8, yes 8, of his nuggets.

-Drop daddy off at work.

-Drive to a house in Franklin to drop off formula for baby orphans in Africa.

-Debate whether or not get Starbucks, but decide against it.

-Head home. Change and feed a starving newborn. Change newborn again.

-Realize big brother had an explosion in his diaper (we have majorly regressed on the potty training). Change big brother's nasty diaper.

-Put big brother down for a nap. Clean up his dirty clothes.

-Eat 3 chocolate chip cookies out of the freezer. Immediately regret eating 3. Should have stopped at 2.

-Order 50 free prints via Shutterfly.

-Change Cooper's diaper AGAIN.

-Type a blog one-handed because a certain little someone thinks the only place he belongs is in his mama's arms :)

NOW.. time to brew some decaf Dunkin' Donuts coffee, figure out what to have for dinner, finish laundry, and mop very dirty floors... all before Carter wakes up. I really do love my life. But I'm also REALLY glad my hubby is home!!

Hold On

Five years ago tomorrow my husband (of less than 5 months) and I entered a doctor's office with the expectation of hearing our 12 week old baby's heartbeat. Tragically, we never heard that beautiful sound and instead were left with the silence, the numbing silence, of grief. The days, weeks, and months that followed were dark- so dark that I only know now how devastated and truly depressed I really was. It took a long time to heal and, as with any wound, I will always bear the scars on my heart. I was left with a hole in my soul so vast that only God knows the depths of it. There was an emptiness, a longing, that I knew only He could fill.

Here's the good news though... There is a God who makes everything new. He heals the broken-hearted and offers living water for our dry and thirsty souls. That same God knew what He was doing when He called our babies home. And He also knew that on December 11, 2008 and August 15, 2011 he would bring two little boys into my life that would fill my cup until it was overflowing. He gave me everything I was missing and more.

I don't know what burden you are carrying today, but hold on. Hold on in hope that He will fulfill His promise to work all things together for good.

Hello, Terrible/Terrific Two's

This little man officially turned 2 1/2 last month. I have heard about the "terrible two's" but thought, naively, that we might avoid them. Ha ha ha ha! Silly me :) This is, without question, the most exhausting and challenging stage of parenthood we've had since Carter was a newborn. That being said, it's also the most exciting and fascinating stage we've had yet! Here are a few highlights:

-The boy loves to talk. And talk and talk and talk. My mom thinks this is some form of hilarious payback/karma for how much I talked at this age too. She likes to remind me of how I wouldn't shut up the entire time she was in labor with my sister, Ashley. (I'm afraid that history might repeat itself in a few short weeks) Considering that Carter didn't really start talking until February of this year, I'd say he's making up for lost time.

He's extremely inquisitive and asks lots of questions. His favorite questions to ask when he hears ANY song are: "What are their names?" {the people singing} and "What they singing about?" And we aren't talking about Sesame Street songs... Have you ever tried to explain this to a 2 year old? Good thing I'm pretty creative :)

He also likes to ask me the name of every single toy he owns. He's not looking for an answer like, "That's a block" or "That's an airplane" .. he wants to know the NAME of the airplane. Like Bob or Fred or Larry. It's a bit ridiculous, but I really can't do anything but laugh since I was the little girl who also named every doll and stuffed animal I owned with a first, middle, AND last name. Ha!

Other funny things he's said recently:

{While crying because he didn't want to go to bed} "I don't like my big boy bed ANYMORE! I just like LIONS!!"

{At Sonic} Me: "Carter, do you like your milkshake?" Carter:"No, I just like lions"

{Walking out of Whole Foods}: "I just love you so much, mama!"

{At church when my dad called him on stage, Carter said right into the microphone}: "Hiii, Poppy!" As you can imagine, there was a collective, "Awww" by the audience. After we left the stage, he said to me, "Mama, I need a microphone!" Oh, Carter.

He LOVES to call me April. (In a very cute Southern accent, he draws out the "A" so it sounds like Aaaaapril) He often calls out from his room at night, "April! April! Come here, April!" One night he even said, "Jer and April! Come here, Jer and April!" It's honestly too cute for me to get upset about. I pick my battles these days.

-A few weeks ago, Carter decided he wanted to start potty training. I was planning on putting it off until after things were settled with Cooper, but he had other plans. The final straw for getting me to start was when he told his Sunday school teacher twice (the same day) that he had to go potty. We weren't working on potty training at all at this point, but you better believe I ordered a potty via Amazon the next day! I've heard that you'll "know" when they are ready .. and I took this as my sign. We have had pretty good success, in spite of my half-hearted attempts some days. I'd say he's about 75% of the way there.. not bad for a boy who isn't even 3.. and is pretty much training himself.

-We moved Carter to his big boy bed a few nights ago in order to put his crib in Cooper's room. Most days he says that he loves his big boy bed, but sleeping in it is still an issue. I have no further comments on his sleeping habits.. and only ask that you say a prayer for us over the next few months. I seriously have NO idea how we're going to manage Carter's lack of sleep with a newborn.

-As I mentioned before, Carter ADORES stuffed animals. If you knew me as a child, you wouldn't be surprised to hear that he has inherited this trait either. He has TONS of them.. both old and new.. and loves each and every one. He sleeps with them (when he actually sleeps), feeds them, makes them sing, reads them books, makes them cry and then rocks them.

-He also LOVES music. His current favorite (other than anything Sesame Street, which is still his total and complete obsession) is Taylor Swift. When he asks for her music it sounds more like, "Tay Sift!" He specifically loves the song, "Mean", to which he will belt out the chorus. He also is a pretty good dancer and will "shake his booty" to any beat. He did not inherit this from me. Or his dad.

-Words I would use to describe Carter at this age:

Inquisitive

Observant

Talkative

Funny

Smart

Energetic

Loving

Opinionated

Phone Photo Dump

I don't know about you, but the picture album on my phone is filled with the randomness of our life. Here's a little glimpse:

A preview of the letters I made for Cooper's room

Going on a walk.. with the monkey

A birthday present from etsy. L.o.v.e.

At the library- on a play date with Carter's friend, Addison

Jeremy took Carter to get an oil change on my car... haha

My handsome boy

Brother shirts from etsy!

A really bad attempt at taking my own belly shot

Don't ask. I have no idea what he was trying to do.

Enjoy a beautiful night outside

Coconuts the Kangaroo @ Whole Foods

Sometimes I wonder what my magazine subscriptions say about me...

Apparently, my husband has a side business that I didn't know about... I found these @ Whole Foods and if you know Jer, you know he LOVES Peanut Butter & Chocolate :)

Boston Cream Pie/Cake, anyone?

Another poor attempt at a belly shot

Easter egg hunt in the backyard

Bunny cake for Easter!

"I throwed dirt on daddy's hair, daddy's forehead, daddy's eyes, daddy's nose, daddy's mouth, & daddy's chin" -Carter

Painting

Palm Sunday

Our "new" dining room set. Thanks, craigslist!

The infamous rat from Petsmart. Carter was OBSESSSSED.

Our bonus room in the process of being painted.

Coloring at daddy's office.

At the park with Bella, Poppy, & Romeo

A braided bread loaf I made from scratch.

The shirt says it all.

Some of my finds at a recent consignment sale. Cute boy clothes are hard to come by, but I was pretty proud of these!

Trying on big boy underwear for the first time.

Meeting his cousin, Matthew, for the first time.

A Valentine's bear from Poppy.

Adorable even when he's sick and sleeping... <3

Carter: 28 Months

Here is a little of what our sweet boy is up to these days:

-Carter is absolutely obsessed with animals... live animals, pictures of animals, animal figurines, etc. He can name just about any animal you show him including different types of insects such as daddy-longlegs, centipedes, dragonflies... you get the idea. Jeremy found a couple of apps for our Ipod Touch that have really encouraged his learning in this area. They show pictures of different animals along with the name and sound that they make. Carter is so crazy about the apps that we have to strongly limit the time he can play with them.

-Carter can name all the letters of the alphabet. He also knows the sounds for all of the letters.

-He has started spelling out different words. I looked on our refrigerator the other day and he had spelled out the words "CAT" and "YES" with his magnetic letters. He has also memorized how to spell the words YES, NO, STOP, GO, DOG, MAMA, and CARTER.

-He can identify numbers 1-11 and sometimes a few numbers between 12 and 20.

-His favorite TV show is still Little Einsteins, though he also enjoys Super Why, Max & Ruby, and sometimes Sesame Street.

-Carter continues to LOVE books. We make weekly trips to the library, which he really looks forward to.

-He can identify all his colors and really likes to color. He once adamantly corrected my mom when she noted that he was using an orange crayon. "No, Ba {Bella}... it's PEACH". Oh... excuse me, Mr. Particular :)

-Carter is still a very good eater. His favorite foods are fruit (especially blueberries & strawberries), chicken, milk, (especially vanilla soy milk and chocolate milk), goldfish, and cookies.

-He still LOVES Chick-fil-A, but also really enjoys eating at Chipotle.

-I have decided that my trade-off for him being such a good eater is the fact that he is a TERRIBLE sleeper. We've had sleep issues with Carter pretty much since he was born. I'm absolutely positive this is God's way of playing a practical joke on me since I LOVE to sleep and require a lot of it. Some months are better than others and the past 3 months or so have been going really well, but something changed on Easter and we are back to the sleep battle. He struggles to take naps (unless in the car) and really struggles to go to sleep at night. Many times over the past week, it has taken us 2++ hours to get him to sleep and even then sometimes it doesn't work. This is EXHAUSTING for Jeremy and I and we are really praying it's just a phase. Carter is currently "sleeping" in his toddler bed (though he usually ends up in our bed at some point during the night) and we need to transition him to a big-boy bed at some point before August.

-I'll end on a more positive note :) Carter's language is continuing to develop rapidly. He talks allll the time and is discovering new words every day. A few days ago, we were reading a book and I pointed to an animal and asked him to identify it. He confidently said, "It's an antelope!" ... and it was perfectly clear! This is HUGE progress for a boy who started saying "mama" consistently just 6 months ago!

I'll try to be back soon with a pregnancy update. Our other little guy is getting big inside his mama!