Change

I posted this on Facebook, so it is only fair that I document it here as well. It is quickly becoming my mantra these days:

"This is what I've come to believe about change: it's good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. By that I mean that it's incredibly painful, exponentially more so if you fight it, and also that it has the potential to open you up, to open life up, to deliver you right into the palm of God's hand, which is where you wanted to be all along, except that you were too busy pushing and pulling your life into exactly what you thought it should be. So this is the work I'm doing now, and the work I invite you into: when life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow."

-Shauna Niequist

"Bittersweet"

I love love love this book so far.

 And would love to write like her. 

Someday. Maybe. One day.

Two

This boy. 

He is sweet, active, adventurous, helpful, strong, a snuggle bug, and the best little eater I know.

He is also mischievous, sneaky, loud, and a total, complete MESS. He can destroy an entire house in no time ... But (unlike his big brother) takes great pride in helping to clean it up too. 

He loves fruit (would eat it all day, every day if given the choice), balls, trucks (the louder the better), cars, tractors, dirt, and stealing his brother's toys.

He's still a mama's boy at heart and I love him oh so much.

A Few of My Favorites

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you have probably already seen most of these.. 

But here are some of my favorite pictures of our sweet baby girl: 

Party of Five

In the eight months since I last blogged, we became a family of five! Our precious Alexandra Jane arrived on May 22 (her due date) and she is absolutely perfect. We call her our little lady or just "lady" because she is exactly that.. Poised, delicate, and by far the best baby I've had! People constantly comment on how alert she is, her long "lady fingers", and her big, beautiful bows. Her eyes are piercing and give off the sense that, although is she is only 2 months old, she knows exactly what you are saying.

When we named her Alexandra we weren't sure if we'd called her Alexandra or Allie or Allie Jane. So far it seems that she is totally an Alexandra. Something about that name is just sophisticated, regal (I mean it WAS the #1 prediction for the royal baby had he been a girl!), and oh so lovely. 

She is a total mommy's girl, although she gives daddy big smiles every morning and has an especially close bond with Carter. Cooper's interest in his sister is increasing, but I think most of his lovingness toward her is just mimicking Carter's behavior. Better than nothing though, right? She also love, love, loves her Auntie Ash- another true lady at heart.

We are so thankful for our unexpected gift from God, Alexandra Jane!

Photo by Amelia Hambrook Photography

Hope

On Friday morning, I was headed out to do some Christmas shopping. On my way to the mall, a CNN headline popped up. It read something like this:

Police arrive on the scene of a Connecticut school shooting

Sadly, I didn't really give it any real thought other than: "Another shooting?! Geez." That alone is disturbing to me looking back on it. How far have we come from the days of Columbine??

As I strolled through the mall with my two boys while waiting to meet my mom, my husband (who was in Cleveland at the time) started sending me a series of text messages. Each one worse than the next:

Turn on the news

Over 20 dead in CT school shooting

An elementary school

Give Pally (his nickname for Carter) a hug for me

That last statement alone told me he was really disturbed by whatever he was seeing on tv. As the day went on, more information poured into my phone... but it wasn't until late that night after getting my boys to bed that I wept. And wept. And wept. 

For those poor little, innocent babies.

And the brave souls who gave their lives protecting them.

For their families. Especially the moms and dads who would never hear the sweet voice of their little one again.

For the other children in that building who will, no doubt, forever be traumatized by what they experienced.

For the first responders. God only knows the sights and sounds they encountered that morning. Carnage that no person should ever have to witness. 

And also for the perpetrator of these crimes. Because how far into darkness do you have to go in order to commit such heinous, evil acts?

With each passing day and each new news report, I am reminded of how broken our world is. Yes, our gun control laws need to be seriously reevaluated. And yes, our mental health system is completely dysfunctional. But we, as people, are broken and lost and in need or someone to save us from ourselves. 

And that's when it hit me. This tragedy came less than 2 weeks before Christmas (which is a tragedy in itself), but what a powerful reminder that there is someone who came to save us from ourselves and the depravity of this world. The Advent season is all about waiting and celebrating the birth of a Savior. And because of that we can have hope. 

Long lay the world
in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared
 and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope
the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks
a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees,
O hear the angel voices!
O night divine,
O night when Christ was born!

O Holy Night

Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heavenly Lord,
That hath made heaven
and earth of naught
And with His blood
mankind hath bought.
Noel Noel Noel Noel!
Born is the King of Israel!
The First Noel
"And then, just when everything is bearing down on us to such an extent that we can scarcely withstand it, the Christmas message comes to tell us that our ideas are wrong, and that what we take to be evil and dark is really good and light because it comes from God. Our eyes are at fault, that is all. God is in the manger, wealth in poverty, light in darkness, succor in abandonment."
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

November Update

My poor, neglected blog. I have so many things I'd like to write about, but life has gotten in the way over the past few months (more on that another time). I don't, however, want to forget these precious, but oh-so-crazy and tiresome days with my two boys. Here's a little of what they each have been up to lately:

Carter, age 3/12

• Carter continues to be our curious, opinionated, observant firstborn. He talks non-stop. And I do mean non-stop... even if no one is listening he'll say, "Oh, don't worry about it. I'm just talking to myself." Like mama like son :)
• As he's gotten older, he has gradually gotten more picky and selective about what foods he will eat. He pretty much could live off of chocolate milk if given the option. Healthy foods that continue to be his favorites include: Chicken (especially Chick fil A), mashed potatoes, peaches (as well as most other fruits), and cheese.
• This year (the 3's) has been much more challenging than last year (the 2's) ... and I really didn't think that was possible. Carter can be very strong willed and is constantly negotiating things so that he gets what he wants. I hear this on a regular (hourly) basis: "Ok, mommy.. here's the deal.. I'm going to do ____, then you can do ____. Is that a deal mommy? Ok mommy? Did you hear me?" Ah, yes.. this child has tested every ounce of patience I have left in my body. But I adore him. Oh so much.
• Several months ago I think I mentioned that Carter started reading. This has continued into a full-blown love of reading and I could not be more thrilled! Dr. Seuss books are currently his favorite, but he will read just about anything in front of him. He can read most of them without any assistance at all. I am absolutely astounded every time I hear him. 
• On that note, we are starting to prayerfully consider our educational options for this little boy. I am open to any and all suggestions and truly just want to find the right fit for him.
• His current obsession love is any and all Superheroes. We talk about Superheroes all day. We play with Superheroes all day. We pretend to be a Superhero all day. Spiderman is still his favorite.
• His imaginary friend, Walgreens is still a very active part of his life. He regularly invites Walgreens over to play- which involves me opening the front door, greeting Walgreens, giving him a hug, etc. The other day I even got to talk to Walgreens' mom on the phone so I could get directions to their house :)

  Cooper at 10 months

{now 14 months}

• My sweet Coopy Coop is such a happy boy. He has a very pleasant disposition and is generally very content.
• He continues to be extremely active and enjoys climbing on anything he can maneuver onto.. i.e. the stairs, couch, chairs, stools, etc. He also loves to push things around. This includes kitchen chairs, barstools, kids table/chairs, Carter's piano, etc. The boy is strong too!
• Cooper will eat just about anything in front of him. He is getting more independent and likes to feed himself most of the time. 
• He LOVES animals.. especially my parents' dog, Romeo.
• We've seen a bit of a temper rise in Cooper lately. He will scream and lay on the floor and throw his version of a "fit" over the silliest things. It's pretty funny, but also concerns me for the future (think terrible two's). He is also extremely jealous if I touch or hold Carter. 
• Coopy is still a mama's boy at heart, but really has a new found love for his daddy and Bella. 
• He doesn't show much, if any, interest in books but LOVES "things that go".. cars, trucks, trains... especially if they make noise!
• Finally, he is developing a love for Sesame Street- especially Elmo. This, of course, makes me very happy!

A Little Summer Reading

Here's a look at some of my summer reads. 

I realize they are kind of all over the place- and not necessarily the most educational or sophisticated choices- but they made for good reads nonetheless! 

{this one I actually read earlier this year, but figured it was worth mentioning}

{I'm working on this one right now.. I like that it's written in short chapters.. almost like a devotional}